Every Bit of Nothing
by El Ci Aech Johnson
Summary: Somehow a potions gone wrong and now Hermione and Draco have switched bodies and lives and as no on knows the two soon develope an understanding for each other through their secret... perhaps their blooming friendship will turn into something more though?
1. Why!

_Every Bit of Nothing_

_**Chapter One:**_

_**WHY?!**_

Disclaimer: All characters that are recognized are property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., Rain Coast Books, Bloomsbury Books, et cetra. Only the distinctive plot line and any other unrecognizable material belong to "El Ci Aech Johnson."

Draco's Point of View

"Hermione... Hermione... I think she's coming to guys!"

"Is she really Ron... you sure...?"

"Yeah look...Look! Hermione!"

"Stop calling me the mudblood's... stupid Weasel..." Weasel... wait... why was Weasley in his dormitory... that didn't make since... except...aarrgg... it was to bright in here to be his room.... And come to think of it the bed was rather uncomfortable and the blankets... they were thin and they were the ugly off-white color of the hospital wing comforters... why would he be in the hospital wing though... and why would Potty and his Weasel be near his bed... why couldn't he see clearly... everything looks fuzzy... he felt weird too an-

"Hey, looks like Malfoy's coming to over here too Harry."

"Ron... what... why's Malfoy here? ...Are we in the hospital wing? I feel weird... Harry... Harry... is that you?"

What...wait... THAT WAS HIS VOICE!!! BUT HE WASN'T TALKING!!! What in bloody hell was going on?! Why the hell did he have such a horrible headache... and why... his legs were soft... and hairless... his feet were smaller too... but-

"Hey Hermione... how're you feeling?"

That was Potty's voice...was he talking to him... he was standing right over him... but... maybe Granger was in here too... wherever "here" is... must be the Hospital Wing...

Time for that later though... right now his head hurt like he'd just had stones dropped on it... was that why he was her- Wait... THIS WASN'T HIS HAIR... HIS BEAUTIFUL BLOND LOCKS THAT CAME DOWN TO JUST BELOW HIS EARS... THIS HAIR WAS BUSHY... FRIZZY... CURLY... AND THERE WAS TONS OF IT! AND IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!! That's it... something was wrong, he had to fin-

"Are they awake yet Potter?"

Hold on a second... that was Pansy's voice... no... this was not what he needed... not her... not the horrible banshee... he already had a headache... he didn't need a migraine... But maybe Baisle was with her... Baisle would know what was go-

"Yeah... Hermione is but Malfoy's a bit groggy... Not that I'd wish you upon him anyway Parkinson."

Well Potter wasn't so clueless... never mind Potty's intelligence, or lack thereof... he need to find out what was going on... he also needed a mirr-

"I agree Potter... where's Madam Pomfrey? She really should know if they're waking up..."

Yes Baisle was here!

"Baisle..." That wasn't his voice... that was... Granger's voice... But he was sure he said her name... Be did say her name... Did Granger say her name at the exact same time? Was his voice just not working properly?

Why was he in here though? And Granger was in here? Maybe they had gotten into a fight... But he didn't remember that... The last thing he remember was being in potions class... Was that it? Did the potion he took have some horrible side effect? But all they were making was a Polygraph Potion... and Granger was his partner... Still they couldn't have gotten the ingredients wrong... could they have? If they did then it was Granger's fault! Well, he'd get her in trouble later; right now he wanted a mirror.

"Baisle, Pansy... someone, get me a mirror will you?" He sounded like Granger again... but even Longbottom couldn't have screwed up the potion enough to make it a Voice Contrast Potion, and besides he would need Granger's saliva for that... Just the thought was disgusting...

"Don't order me around you stupid Mudblood!"

Did she just call him a mudblood? Whom in the world did she think that she was talking to? Perhaps she hadn't seen him ask... yes that would make sense... she'd just heard Granger's voice...

"Ms. Parkinson, I will not tolerate such language in my infirmary... especially when your prejudices are being directed at my patients!"

Oh good, Madam Pomfrey was here, maybe now he'd finely find out what was going on... Now where was she... it really was very blurry... unfocused... Oh well – BLOODY HELL!!! The floor sure was cold, my god... where were his sh-

"Ms. Granger, you shouldn't get up... I'm still not sure what caused you to pass out."

He wasn't Granger... she must be talking to him though... she was standing right above him...

"Hey Draco give me back my mirror... I was fixing my lipstick! You made me mess up!"

HE WAS DRACO! AND HE DIDN'T HAVE A MIRROR! Not that he cared if she got that bloody lipstick all over her face but...

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAA"

That was his voice! It came from the other side of the room... and he still couldn't see but... BUT THAT BLOODY WELL DID FLAMING LOOK LIKE HIS BODY!!! WHAT WAS GOING ON!!! THAT COULDN'T BE HIS BODY... Maybe it was just some other student with a nice toned back... And lean muscular arms... And The Same Pale Skin... And His Same Platinum Blond Hair, WHICH WAS CUT EXACTLY THE SAME AS HIS!!!

"Madam Pomfrey... Can I have a mirror?"

"Of course Ms. Granger..."

Granger... Granger... People kept calling him Granger... And his hair... it was bushy... brown... curly... frizzy... and his legs felt soft...and short...and he couldn't see very well... but-

"Here you are Hermione."

He was not Hermione... if they called him that one more time he'd hex them all into next Wednesday! What if he was though... maybe... he didn't want to look into the mirror...but no... he had to find out what was happening... Besides he was being stupid he wasn't – HE WAS GRANGER!!!!

HERMIONE-BLOODY-FUCKING-RUDDY-FLAMIING-NO-IT-ALL-MUDBLOOD-GRANGER WAS STARRING BACK AT HIM!!! GRANGER WITH HER RAT'S NEST HAIR... AND STUPID UGLY FRECKLES... AND ANNOYING AUTUMN EYES... AND HER NOT SO BIG ANYMORE TEETH!!!

"Oh no... This is not happening... I am not Granger?! I AM NOT RUDDY MUDBLOOD GRANGER!"

Let me know what you think... A few questions will be answered next chapter... but not to many... R&R... I really would like to know what people think, this is my first fic.


	2. They Don't Believe Us

_Every Bit of Nothing_

Chapter Two:

**They Don't Believe Us...**

OCARD DNA EINOMREH

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

OCARD DNA EINOMREH

Hermione's Point of View

OCARD DNA EINOMREH

"Oh no... This is not happening... I am not Granger?! I AM NOT RUDDY MUDBLOOD GRANGER!"

What could possibly be going on... There was no actual logical explanation for her being in a male body that very strongly resembled that of Draco Malfoy's. Not that there was a logical explanation for hearing one's own voice insulting her... It couldn't possibly be her imagination though; she couldn't really remember why she was in the hospital wing, in fact the last thing she remembered was... well potions class. Yes, that was it, being in potions class, and Neville's and Parkinson's potion exploding... The only consequence of this however was a large amount of black smoke spreading throughout the classroom... So what could have caused her change in appearance?

She remembered it rather clearly actually: Malfoy had just taken his potion and she took her potion right after him and only a fraction of a second later Neville put something into his potion causing some sort of chemical reaction that created quite a bit of black smoke, which spread throughout the classroom... After that she couldn't remember anything else...

Was that it though? Could she have inhaled so much smoke that what ever was in the fumes had caused such a reaction in her body? That would be unreasonable though, for it was highly unlikely that she would have inhaled enough smoke to change her outward appearance, while the rest of her classmates remained the same.

"GRANGER?! Granger is that you in my body? Undo this right now! I don't know how but this is YOUR fault!"

Her voice was yelling at her... It was a very odd sensation to hear ones own voice and yet have no control of the words it was saying. The words sounded like Malfoy's though. Perhaps it had been the smoke from Neville's and Pansy's cauldron that had caused her to be in this strange male body... Perhaps she wasn't hearing her voice but simply a female voice and through her male ears it sounded the same... How odd would that be? For men to hear one woman exactly the same as the next; this, however, would make no sense, men and woman's receptive nerves may work a bit differently but not to that extent.

"Ms. Granger, calm down right n-" Madam Pomfrey again, talking to someone at least ten feet away from her, someone who she apparently thought was her...

"I AM NOT MUDBLOOD GRANGER! IT'S ME! I'M MALFOY, DRACO MALFOY!" Malfoy was in here, those were Malfoy's words, but it was her voice speaking them.

"Of course you are dear, now please calm yourself, just lay back and relax." Come to think of it, the ceiling looked very... blurry, that didn't make sense though, she did have her contacts in, didn't she?

"I WILL NOT CALM MY SELF! THIS IS THEIR FAULT! POTTY AND MUDBLOOD AND THE WEASEL! THEY DID THIS!!!" Now her voice was insulting her friends. She stood up, subconsciously running a hand through her hair. It was much shorter then usual, very soft, and well, it was platinum blond, just like Malfoy's.

"Will you be quiet Granger? Your shirking is a bit annoy-"

"Blaise, do I look like I'm wearing contacts?" How odd, her voice was deeper the usual, not deep like an old man, just deeper, like a regular teenage boy's. Not sneering, it was neither sarcastic nor cruel, just normal. In fact she almost didn't sound like Malfoy, she almost couldn't tell it was his voice, but she could still faintly hear the familiarity.

"What, Draco what ar-"

"Oh Draco! I was so worried about you, but you're okay now right? This doesn't mean that I'm not mad at you for stealing my mirror! I think I'll forgive you though!"

Pansy Parkinson; she had never liked the girl, she was so... whiny, granted she didn't know her well but she was always talking and what made it worse was that it was always about one of three subjects: Boys, clothes, or make-up. Not to mention the fact that every time she saw the girl she looked as though she was trying to pull Malfoy's arm off or suffocate him with what she obviously thought were hugs. Of course, it didn't help that at the very moment she was hugging her, she thought she was hugging Draco, this was true, but none-the-less, it was still annoying.

"Get off of him Pansy, you trying to squeeze his head off or something." She always did like Blaise better then any of the other Slytherin's in her year...

"Now, what are contacts?"

"They're little clear circular objects that sit in one's eyes. If I am wearing them then you'll be able to see a little round line in my eyes." She hoped that would be a good enough description, she didn't really think it was important to explain how they worked or that they were a muggle invention, especially because Malfoy wouldn't use anything muggle, and after all they did seem to think she was Malfoy...

"Um... I've never heard of those, are they new? Well, anyway...yeah... yeah it does look like you've got a little round line in each of your eyes, except those could be blood vessels..." How odd, her vision shouldn't be so blurry with her contacts in... Men did tend to have better vision then woman, but still even if she was in a male body it shouldn't have changed her vision. Well she shouldn't be in a male body in the first place, much less one that was identical to Malfoy's.

"Thanks Blaise... I'm just go-"

"I demand to know what is going on right this instant!" It was her voice again, her voice, with the same sneering tone that Malfoy used when he spoke...

"Ms. Granger-" Ms. Granger, her... Madam Pomfrey was talking to her, and yet here she was, in Draco Malfoy's body.

"Malfoy!" Was he in her body then?

"Alright, Ms. Malfoy-" Had they some how switched bodies? Was that even possible? To switch bodies with someone?

"I'm a man, a boy, male! Mr. Malfoy!!!" It was possible to reconstruct one's DNA so that it was temporarily replaced by, or turned into, someone else's.

"Fine, Mr. Malfoy! You inhaled quite a bit of smoke from an accident in Professor Snape's classroom about an hour ago. Your body was going though odd spasms when you were brought in, however you and another classmate of yours were both given sedatives to stop the spasms, they will be wearing off soon." An hour ago, so that would mean that it couldn't be polyjuice potion that caused her resemblance to Malfoy, nor could it be the reason for which her body was claiming to be Malfoy. They were given sedatives... for spasms? She assumed that she had passed out due to inhaling too much smoke and it clogging up her lungs, which would be the reason why Malfoy, who apparently was in her body, would have passed out too; they were right behind Nevile's and Pansy's work station after all... What could have caused spasms though?

"Fine! When will I be back to normal? Why do I look like Granger?" Yes, that was a very good question.

"As soon as the sedatives wear off dear." Sedatives wouldn't cause one to take on another's appearance, what was she talking about?

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Misses Zabini and Parkinson, can I please talk to you all in my office?" Why would she need to talk to them, did they all have injuries or something from the accident too?

"I know your going to talk about me! I want to come too! I'm not crazy! Sedatives would not make me look like... like... this!" His amazing ability with adjectives never ceased to surprise her... Malfoy, Malfoy was in her body... Well, he was right though, sedatives shouldn't have made him look like her, nor should they have made her look like him...

Why was it that no one else seemed to realize something was wrong with the two of them, Blaise and Malfoy seemed to be pretty good friends... she should have seen that something was odd about this, certainly even if she looked like Malfoy she didn't act like him, didn't anyone see that? What about Harry and Ron? They must know that she would never act like Malfoy was... honestly he didn't even that much look like her, not really, of course he looked like she did physically, for the most part, but the couldn't have really been what her hair looked like in the back...

"Madam Pomfrey, I have the results for Granger and Malfoy's blood tests." It was Professor Snape, and Hermione being the good-natured but sarcastic person that she was couldn't help but think about how much his being here lifted her spirits... Why would they need blood tests, though?

"Oh thank you Professor, I assume all is well?" Of course, it was probably a precaution, after all if they were having spasms it would only make since to make sure they weren't having some type of allergic reaction to the smoke as it would appear that the smoke is what caused them to pass out.

"Yes, both Malfoy and Granger are perfectly fine, inhaled too much smoke; I'll have to have them make up the assignment though." He was looking at Malfoy now, smiling rather nastily, she would have expected the smile to be directed at her but of course from Professor Snape's point of view it was. Well, looked like Malfoy would be expected to do all the work, this would be interesting...

"Very well, thank you Severus. Now if I could please see you four." Harry, Ron, Blaise and Parkinson were ushered into her office and just as Hermione expect Professor Snape turned to her and Malfoy, glaring down at the both of them, though she distinctly noticed slightly more loathing directed toward Malfoy. It felt very weird to be on the other side of Professor Snape's unfair biases.

"You both will come to my office after lessons tomorrow so that we can agree upon a time for you to remake your potion." She could see her face change as her mouth opened in a look of angry disbelief, quickly replaced by one that could only be betrayal as her thin brown eyebrows scrunched upward. It was very strange... very surreal.

"Professor, why do I have to do it? This is all her- his- Granger's fault! She and Potty and the Weasel did something to me and now I look like her, and she looks like me, at least I think it's her, she was telling Blaise about some muggle thing! They did something to me and I demand that you and Dumblebumble do something about it or else my father will become involved!" Yep, that was Malfoy, no doubts about it now. He was doing everything that Malfoy would do: Blaming someone, anyone else, insulting Ron, Harry, and she, bringing up her muggle heritage, ordering people around, insulting Professor Dumbledore, and threatening people by means of his father, how Malfoyish.

"Ms. Granger, do be quiet, you wouldn't want to give Mr. Malfoy another opportunity to make fun of you, after all he does already have so many." He was smirking... smirking in such a self satisfied sickening way, as though he thought himself quite clever for his lovely little remark.

"Professor, are you sure that the blood tests were okay? The smoke from Nev- er, Longbottom's and Pansy's potion couldn't have caused anything to happen to us, other then near suffocations by smoke?"

"Don't play innocent Granger, you did something now undo it!" Couldn't he just keep his mouth shut? Granted, he wasn't physically a "he" in fact he was a "she" physically, though it was quite odd to think of Malfoy as a "she" and she couldn't help picturing what Malfoy would look like were he born female. It was also quite strange to realize that she still thought of herself as a "she" but physically she was a "he". This would be very confusing...

"Mr. Malfoy, please ignore Ms. Granger, the sedative potion that Madam Pomfrey gave you both can sometimes cause the patient to become delusional. Unfortunately, in Ms. Granger's case, this has caused her to think that she is you. You fortunately are not exhibiting these symptoms."

"I AM NOT DELUSIONAL!" No, but she wished immensely that he was, that they both were.

"Do be quiet Ms. Granger! Or else I will take points from Gryffindor!" Wonderful, Malfoy was going to get points taken away from Gryffindor because he was a spoiled rotten little brat whom couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Good! Take lots of points from Gryffindor!"

"Alright Ms. Granger, be quiet or else I will take points from Slytherin House!" He wouldn't actually take points from Slytherin, would he?

"Professor, you can't take points from Slytherin! Take points from Gryffindor! This is entirely her fault!" She really was having trouble understanding why he couldn't just shut up!

"Ms. Granger, I do not care that you are delusional, I can and will take points from any house I wish due to your antics." She could only hope that it would be Slytherin he would take points from; it would be very fitting seeing as it was her body claiming to be Malfoy.

"I will be telling my father about this!" She found it quite funny that he couldn't seem to comprehend the fact that his threats meant nothing to Professor Snape because to Professor Snape the threats came not from Draco Malfoy but from Hermione Granger.

"Of course you will Ms. Granger, I'm afraid that I don't care though, though I must compliment you on your odd ability to act like Draco here." She could almost feel Malfoy's frustration at the Professor's cold, unconcerned tone.

"In answer to your question earlier Mr. Malfoy, no, the smoke didn't do anything except give Longbottom another bad mark, not that it helped Ms. Parkinson's grade either. I also assure you, Mr. Malfoy, that exaggeration of your inhalation of smoke will not be appreciated so might I point out that you did not nearly suffocate." Obviously she already knew this, however she couldn't help but be annoyed at his attempt to suggest she was acting as Malfoy would normally act, after all, she in no way what-so-ever wanted to be compared to Malfoy.

"Naturally Professor."

"I'm very busy so I must be going. Mr. Malfoy please tell Madam Pomfrey I couldn't stay around to chat." He sneered as he said the last word as if "chatting" was below him. It annoyed her quite a bit, for all the respect she had for Professor Snape, for being a brilliant potions master and an excellent spy for the Order, she still couldn't stand how he acted as though everyone else was so below him.

"Oh and Mr. Malfoy your father has put a letter for you in my care, concerning..." She noticed him hesitate slightly and glance at Malfoy, whom he thought was her, before saying, "family affairs." She couldn't help but wonder exactly what he meant by "family affairs", although she did have a nasty idea about what it could be.

She'd always tried to assume the best of Malfoy, he may be obnoxious, annoying, arrogant, pompous, pretentious, haughty, snobbish, ostentatious, uncouth, crude, spoiled rotten little brat who had a tendency to be sneaky and cowardly and one heck of a self-absorbed jerk, whom was very, very pig-headed, but that didn't make him a Death Eater. It didn't, however, occur to her that he would be considering joining the ranks of the Dark Lord at such a young age. Not that she had spent much time analyzing Malfoy's personality and behavior, of course.

"Mr. Malfoy?" It was just when he said it that she remembered that she was "Malfoy" and therefore expected to respond.

"Sure, Professor, I'll stop by your office later to pick it up." There was still no sneer, no sarcasm, nor cruelty in her voice, and in her opinion she didn't sound at all like Malfoy, luckily it was enough for Professor Snape as he swept away quickly, his black robes flapping behind him like something out of an old 1940's Dracula movie.

"Was that Professor Snape just leaving?" Madam Pomfrey had come back out of her office, all four of her classmates following her.

"Yes." Malfoy could at the very least have tried to sound nice; honestly, he was so disrespectful, sounding like a four year old who didn't get candy for dinner.

"Never says around long that man, does he?" Madam Pomfrey seemed to mutter this more to her self then to either of her patients and Hermione couldn't help but wonder why it could possibly bother Madam Pomfrey that Professor Snape didn't want to hang around for tea.

"Er, well, anyway Madam Pomfrey can we leave now?" Although Hermione was trying very hard to look as stuck-up and uninterested as Malfoy normally did she was really very eager to get to the library and try to find some logical explanation for her and Malfoy's predicament and more importantly a way to reverse the problem.

"Yes, certainly, Mr. Malfoy, the sedatives should be wearing off within the next half an hour, there are no problems, you both simply inhaled too much carbon dioxide." She did wonder for a moment whether or not Malfoy even knew what carbon dioxide was, but realized that it really was something not worth thinking about at the time.

She walked out the door and waited for Harry and Ron to follow her but when she turned around to see why they hadn't she saw that both were talking to Malfoy who was glaring at them with his arms crossed and his feet planted firmly on the ground. They were her feet though... it was like watching a movie, it made her wonder what it must be like for an actor or actress to see them selves on a screen like that.

"Oh Draco! I thought you could have died! When Madam Pomfrey told me what caused you to pass out! Oh, please forgive me, it really wasn't my fault, it was Longbottom's, but still, Draco it must have been horrible! Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?!" Hermione found her self mentally questioning two things, whether or not Pansy was really a lap dog charmed or transfigured to look human and how in the world Malfoy could stand someone with such an inclination to talk in such a high-pitched, stereotypically girly voice?

"Er, yes, you could let go of me Park- Pansy." Were her eyes watering up? She looked like she was going to cry, honestly it's not like she'd told her that she hated her, she just ask her to not cut off the circulation to her lower arm. Come to think of it her arm, and every other part of her body, did feel rather heavy, this was probably due to the fact that Draco was a good six inches taller then her five foot six frame and naturally more muscular as well, which was probably the reason she felt hea-

"Draco you ready to go back to the commons, we've got work to do for our Arithmancy project." She'd forgotten that Blaise and Malfoy were in that class. Nonetheless this was the prefect opportunity for her to go to the library to do research without suspicions being raised by the Slytherin's, which would other wise be the case considering Malfoy wasn't known to be terribly studious.

"Actually Blaise Gr- Malfoy and I are going to talk for a minute, about our make up potion! Bye!" Malfoy proceeded to dragged her into the History of Magic Class Room on the other side of the hall, glaring at her the entire time. She felt like she was in some sort of odd dream; a dream in which her own hand was pulling her into an empty classroom. Unfortunately she was very sure that everything that was happening was real and oddly enough she could except that, though hopefully she wouldn't have to get used to it.

Malfoy shut the door behind them glaring at it as he had the four confused teenagers who were still standing bewilderedly next to the study room door which would lead to the fourth floor corridor.

"All right Granger, I don't know what you did but stop playing innocent because I will figure it out so save us both a lot of time and change us back!" She couldn't decide whether to laugh or yell. She couldn't possibly look so silly when she was mad, could she? Was that really what she looked like, when she glared? It couldn't be, honestly, even if it was her body the body language presented was still Malfoy's.

"Listen Malfoy, I didn't do anything, I'm not happy about this either, and I would like to be back to normal just as much as you would un-"

"I don't believe you Granger, you did this, it's obvious!"

"You have no proof that I did anything Malfoy!" He had a lot of nerve interrupting her! Who did he think he was anyway, throwing out unfair and unjustified accusations?

"I don't need proof, you and your little lap dogs did this; how else could it have happened?" Besides, how was she to know that it wasn't him who'd caused this?

"I don't know Malfoy; maybe you and your little cronies did it!" What was he talking about? Her lap dogs?

"Why would I want to be a filthy-no-it-all-mudblood like you?" He smirked as if it were the funniest, most unreasonable allegation he'd ever heard.

"I don't think I'd want to know; however if you insist upon asking me that, ask yourself the same question. Why would I want to be you?"

"Because, I'm perfect." She couldn't believe his egotistical attitude; after all didn't he know that the idea of perfection was completely subjective?

"Whatever, that's not the point right now, the point is I didn't do this and I don't think that you did either, what would your motive be? I think that there could have been more to that smoke then either Madam Pomfrey or Professor Snape thought, I just don't know how it happened, but we need to find out."

"Fine, I see your point your not smart enough to appreciate my superiority being as your stuck with your filthy muggle brain, to bad it's not as big as your teeth, huh? Or maybe your hair? Or both?" She simply rolled her eyes at him and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Yes, well until we can figure out a way to change us back you're going to be stuck with my big teeth and hair, and you're going to have to get used to not calling me a mudblood, because the fact of the matter is to everyone else I'm you and you're me."

"This is ridiculous Granger, I'll just owl my father and he'll fix everything." At this Malfoy began examining her nails, though she wasn't sure whether he did this out of habit or just to find something else to look at.

"Malfoy, I don't assume to know your father, however I doubt that he would believe us, and if he did then he would probably take you off to St. Mungo's taking my body with him which means that you wouldn't attend any classes or take exams and it would go on my record, or he may take both of us, which means that he would be taking my brain out of school, right in the middle of our sixth year, right before midterms when the most important information is being given!"

"Of course he'd believe me, why shouldn't he?" She was surprised by his innocent tone of voice, as though the notion that his father may not decide to give him what he wanted was some unheard of taboo of sorts, although it was quite possible that this was caused by the fact that it was her voice.

"The same reason that no one else believed you, not even Professor Snape who is one of the best potions masters in England, from what I've read, and that means that he also is a very good chemist and biologist so-"

"What are a chemist and biologist?" Was that really all that he had gotten out of that sentence?

"They're muggle terms for a person who studies the reactions between certain... chemicals with each other and other objects, basically it's a muggle potions master, and a biologist is a person who studies microscopic animal life and that such." It was odd, she felt like she was talking to Harry or Ron, being forced to explain everything in ridiculously simple terms, except of course for the fact that she was looking at her own face.

"Professor Snape isn't a muggle potions master; I didn't even know muggle's had potions." Wow, she couldn't possibly imagine how that could have slipped by him, being as he was ever so knowledgeable about muggle culture.

"That's not the point Malfoy; the thing is, if Professor Snape couldn't find anything wrong with our blood samples then that means that whatever has happened is unheard and as such our predicament is probably a new, isolated case. Because of this, even if Professor Snape had found something wrong with our blood samples he wouldn't know how to fix it, and since he didn't find anything wrong he obviously didn't know what to look for so what ever caused us to... change... went undetected by whatever tests he preformed."

"I'm not sure I'm following you Granger." It was very odd to hear herself sound stupid...

"What I'm saying is first we need to find out which tests he preformed, and then we'll have to get blood samples from each of us and rule out any known possibilities."

"You know it could have been a time released charm or something; there are tones of dark arts spells that would change one's appearance into that of another's; I'd think that you would know that being such a bookworm and all, Granger." He crossed his arms across her chest smirking at her in a way that was so Malfoyish she had a hard time believing it was her own face.

"Yes, I do know that, but all charms of that... um... group, is the best word I can think of... Well anyway the energy used to cast them causes a chemical reaction in the blood cells that will leave two strands of DNA in the cell: The original DNA of the victims and the DNA of the person who they are being forced to take the form of. These spells are very hard to cast of course as they're quite advanced and it requires the wand of the caster being covered in the blood of the person the victim will be changed into. It's highly unlikely that someone cast a spell of that nature on either of us, I don't think any of our classmates have the know-how or skill to perform such advanced magic."

"Well maybe it was the smoke then; Longbottom's thick enough to screw a potion up bad enough for the fumes to do this. Anyway, just fix it! If you need my help let me know, but you'd better get us back to normal soon Granger because I do not want to stay stuck like this! If you need my help let me know. Other wise leave me alone because I can't have people thinking that Draco Malfoy wants to talk to you, and don't do anything stupid while you're in my body, either." Right, because she was just looking for a chance to act like a whiny, spoiled four-year-old, she thought rolling her eyes.

"I thought I explained this Malfoy," she started to say fully exasperated, "I'm not in you're body just like you're not in mine. I don't think that's possible, that would require all of our controllable, voluntary organs to be transferred from one body to the other, with out anyone noticing."

"Granger, that's a very sick mental image..." It was funny to watch her own face scrunch up in disgust.

"Yes, I know, and it isn't physically possible, even with magic, we'd have to keep the same organs, and those organs would just change to accommodate our new physical state, although the skin would change appearance to match the new, dominating DNA."

"Sound's like Polyjuice Potion." He was staring at her/his feet now, crunching his nose up as if he smelt something rather disgusting.

"Yes, that's the theory that I'm following, but that isn't possible, Polyjuice Potion only lasts for an hour and Madam Pomfrey said that we had been in there for almost an hour, and that was fifteen minutes ago. Besides the only potion we took was the Polygraph Potion and there is no way we could have messed it up enough to change it into Polyjuice Potion, or any other potion of such a nature." She crossed her arms and bit her lower lip in concentration.

"Well, we should get going Granger, you can't fix this sitting around here and Pansy is probably going to start thinking that we've killed each other or worse if we don't get out of here soon, so-"

"Hold up a second Malfoy, what do you mean," I can't fix this", we are both going to fix this. As much as I don't like you and you don't like me, it will probably require both of our participation, especially once I gather enough information to do some testing."

"Fine, but you can't go and make me look like I want to go to the library, which means that you're going to have to come up with an excuse for me to go to the library." She could do that, quite easily probably, after all teachers were always assigning group or pair projects that would require a large amount of research so she'd have plenty of opportunity to go to the library.

"I'm sure that I'll find some way of doing research without tarnishing your 'I'm-struggling-to-make-myself-as-dumb-and-ignorant-as-possible' reputation." She smirked slightly at this and although it felt a bit weird to her, it probably would look perfectly normal on Malfoy.

"Cute Granger, when you want to study let me know. In the mean time give me the password to your common room so that I can get used to acting like a nerdy, bossy little bookworm." He really wasn't going to do well in the real world, honestly if he wanted someone to do what he wanted the key to this was not insult them...

"The Password is "onion rings," the Gryffindor commons are on the seventh floor in the Fat Lady's corridor behind the portrait of the Fat Lady, just give her a password."

"Fine, the Slytherin password is "blood bond", just follow Pansy and Blaise, they're probably waiting for you down near the dungeons. Like I said Granger, don't do anything that I wouldn't do!" Everything he would do was something she wouldn't do, and she was very tempted to tell him this, however instead she just nodded and walked out the door only to be greeted by a very curious looking Harry and a very annoyed and jealous looking Ron.

"Hello Ha- Potter, Weasley, have I nice evening..." She mentally slapped herself... that did not sound like something that Malfoy would say...

"You too, Malfoy..." She could here the confusion in Harry's voice as she walked away and could almost feel Ron glaring at her... This was going to be a long day...

OCARD DNA EINOMREH

This was a bit of a long chapter; the next one should probably be just about as long though.

Wingless87 pointed out the spelling mistake in the last chapter, I spelled "Blaise" Baisle", didn't mean to do that, that's my uncle's name so whenever I go to spell "Blaise" I think "Baisle", so thanks for pointing it out. Thanks to every one else who reviewed too, I really appreciate it and love the feedback.

In the next chapter Draco finds out what it's like to be in the lions den and Hermione gets to see what it's like in the snake's pit. I can't tell whether this chapter has answered more questions then it's caused, probably the latter. Anyway R&R, like I said, I really want to know what you think.

El Ci Aech Johnson


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